Rwanda Changed Me

Chapter one: Emotions

Yes…. That’s right, the title is very stereotypical. I went to a different country and was changed; but hold on there is more to it. After returning to the States, I spent a couple of days reflecting on my experience in Rwanda and the following is just a snapshot of my adventures. Out of all my blogs, this one will be the most difficult to write, as it will be my last one (for now)! I will attempt to explain how Rwanda has impacted me emotionally and mentally and in turn given me a greater ability to adapt to new challenges.

To understand why Rwanda has changed me so much, it might be helpful to have a little background on my previous experiences. When I was 15 years old, I attended boarding school in Massachusetts for my last three years of high school; which meant I spent a fair bit of time away from my home, and required several moves even before I began college. I have lived in California, Virginia, Massachusetts, Washington D.C., Florida, Germany and lastly Rwanda. Fortunately, moving a lot helped me to adapt to changing rooms and living arrangements in Rwanda; which was required almost every week! I realize my past frequent moves, while increasing my organizational skills and efficiency in new surroundings, came at a cost of developing deeper friendships and relationships. I had to tendency to not invest emotionally, perhaps subconsciously believing I would probably not see the people again; and held fast to my own self-reliance. There was something missing; that I was not even aware of.

This all changed in Rwanda. For the first month, I tried so hard to keep everything to myself and do what I do best; work and work, that's all. In fact, I thought that I could never mix personal life with work life. However, this became more difficult every day as I lived, worked and ate with the same people. To be successful in this internship, I needed to mix personal life with work life and tell my story to more people. I had to earn the respect and trust from Red Rocks Rwanda, the

women I worked with, and so on; which required developing relationships. This was a first for me because in my various jobs in the past, my “efficiency” work ethic was enough to prove my worth. Telling my story and relating to people put me in a vulnerable state; which was no easy task. Ironically, developing in my vulnerabilities is what allowed me to progress so much in Rwanda.

Once I understood that I needed to both give and receive more information to and from the people I was working with, more than the typical small talk, I could enjoy the country even more. In this country, I have made so many friends whom I allowed a peek into my world, including my fears, goals, and dreams. These friends will be life-long friendships which I value tremendously. One of my new friends from Rwanda is Lilyose, a Rwandan who made me such beautiful

clothes. She taught me so much about the country and always put a smile on my face every time I came to Kigali. Another would be my boss, Greg, with whom I may have the chance to work with in the future from Florida. He taught me to dream big and not allow others to interfere and discredit my ideas. These people are just a few of the many friendships that I allowed myself to enter. I shared more about my life with them than I have even told some of my close friends at my University.

Chapter one of my lessons learned in Rwanda dealt with emotions as I became more vulnerable and allowed myself to hug people, cry, smile and laugh all the time. Also, Rwanda taught me that being perfect and having control over everything is impossible! Before coming to Rwanda, I thought that everything would be perfect as in the past I seemed to perform well in school and work. Well in Rwanda as discussed I had no control over almost anything from cultural aspects to even my job environment. In fact, I had some hiccups in Rwanda that were unlike any experience I have ever had in my life. Looking back, I am happy I went through some difficult times as it forced me to become more resilient! Thus, the challenges in Rwanda were more helpful for me than having a successful internship.

Chapter two: My life in Rwanda:

Power

Now that we have talked about emotions such as vulnerabilities and perfection let’s discuss my crazy adventures just living every day. The first month was an adjustment as the power would go out on average seven times a day, you can imagine how difficult it is to get work done like that! This did not affect me too much as I was used to the power going out a lot back in the States; however, the down side of the power going out meant that the Wi-Fi would not work. This means if I were doing any work on the website or uploading a video on YouTube it would be lost which took hours. Having the power go out allowed me to understand that patience truly is a virtue. Because of the power going out my regular 9am-5pm

work schedule was not possible! As you can see in the photo here, I am working at midnight because I was afraid the Wi-Fi and power would not function in the morning.

Water

This was the most difficult part of my trip. My first shower in Rwanda was a complete failure. We “had running water” at Red Rocks. However, it would only run for a couple of minutes. I did not know this so I made the mistake of putting conditioner in my hair which I never did again after that! I had to go three days with conditioner in my

hair! Little did I know, that I was living in luxury compared to what happened next. A couple of weeks later the running water went out completely at Red Rocks, and you know what that means bucket showers! I think what was funny about this is it reminded me of a class at Lynn where my professor had us walk to a lake and get water. I remember her telling us we would probably never have to do this in our regular lives. Well for the bucket showers I had to get water from the near by hotel. I guess that’s the price you pay to be clean. However, the lack of not having water allowed me to become more adaptable and accept that I have no control over almost anything in Rwanda.

Chapter three: Lessons

Before I came to Rwanda I was different; however, I had the potential to become the person I wanted to be. Rwanda allowed this to happen, but it was no easy task. I had to confront multiple obstacles that were so unlike than my challenges in the States. I needed to be social, approachable and relatable to the clients and the locals. I had to mix my

personal life and my professional life telling my story over and over again. Small talk did not work here!

I could write about my lessons in Rwanda for hours; therefore, I will discuss the biggest lesson I learned in Rwanda, which is that I have no control over what happens to me in my life. I can try to make mathematical calculations about possible outcomes when in reality, this will not change the results of my life, it will only allow me to prepare for what’s going to happen. The only person I have control over is myself, and that’s it! When I think about it, I believe that Rwanda has allowed me to see this because I am very independent and have been for quite some time. In Rwanda being independent was not possible as I had someone who would translate for me, feed me, drive me places and lastly accompany me on different work activities. Thus, ironically having my life quite literally be in the hands of someone else allowed me to sit back and understand that control over every aspect of my life is not possible anymore.

Another lesson I realized in Rwanda is how much I was self-absorbed in my looks. Before going to this country, I always made sure to do my makeup in order to look put together and I was frequently buying new products to do so. However, in Rwanda I did not even have a mirror for most of my time there, in fact, I would only see what I looked like when I went to Kigali! At one point when I looked at a mirror I hardly even recognized myself. Not having a mirror allowed me to be less worried about my looks and more focused on my job in the country.

Adventures in Rwanda……. has come to a close as I am back in the States preparing for my next adventure in Florida. I wanted to end with a quote from one of my first blogs called Goals and Fears for Rwanda as I said the following: “Instead I am afraid of something much worst: the “unknown” and the what-ifs” because these subjects are uncertain and often unpredictable. My fears are all unknown.” At that moment, I said that I was afraid of the unknown and I still am. However, I am far less afraid then I was before going to Rwanda. I have determined that there are much bigger things to fear then something I have no control over! I don’t know where my life will take me but what I do know is I want to use what I learned in Rwanda and share it with the world. The lessons, emotions,

and logistics of living in Rwanda have indeed changed me in a way that I am so grateful for. From climbing a mountain, teaching English to meeting the President all of the experiences in this country have given me the confidence I needed to understand that I can accomplish anything with a positive environment and a support system. Thank you to all my readers who have followed me on all my adventures as your feedback kept me going and persevering through various situations and I am excited to share more to everyone in person. Any time when I was thinking about giving up on this adventure, I thought about my blog and how much I enjoy writing about my story. Goodbye for now as I hope to have more adventures in Rwanda in the future.

-April Ferguson